she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
