We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
