If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He shit in the fireplace
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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