would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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