i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
