You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
