if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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