I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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