operation harelip BJ is a go
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
