were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
