I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
