i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
