Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
