So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize