one might say we're banned from that church
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
