i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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