Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
