dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize