maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
