I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
