come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
