do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
