How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
