Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize