I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He shit in the fireplace
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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