The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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