Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have post one night stand depression
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
