i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize