im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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