you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
