I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
