Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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