So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
