What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Randomize
