So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
