It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
