problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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