Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
