Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
