Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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