no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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