Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
