I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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