Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
