I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
