HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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