4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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