how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
