Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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