i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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