Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
