Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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