Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
