after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
