Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
