So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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