Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
