it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
