You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
