would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
