I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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