There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
