Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
