Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize